A little scare

After my last post you are all probably wondering how I am right now? Well, as I always answer the doctor at the oncology day clinic when I get my chemo: GOOD! Last time he told me:” Ah yes Mrs Tahon, since I got to know you, you are always good!” , with a smile on his face.


So I’m good. Since I got the new stent and the medication for the nerve pain I’m feeling really better. It’s to say I would have felt really good before also if I didn’t have those complications that are now being tackled. As for the new stent, it hurts really less. The first days I took a pain killer but now I don’t need it anymore (I wanna take as less pills as possible). Also I pee again without pain! Hallelujah!! You have no idea how the peeing hurt. All my muscles would tens and then the pee was not coming out not normal either. You know when you hold your pee for a long time and then the rescue toilet is there and you just let go. It feels like heaven right? Well I didn’t and don’t have that anymore, but at least now it comes out more or less normal ;-). As for the sleeping, that improved as well. With the previous stent I would go peeing every hour! Every hour of the night! with pain! So basically I never slept anymore. And in order for me to heal, sleeping is really important. I never had a good night, but now, with the new stent I sleep two or three hours in a row!  It feels so good! I dream again, I finally get into that deep sleep where dreams are and I can escape for a moment of this situation. And now when I pee, I am like a baby on the toilet and like a zombie returning to bed and continuing my sleep. Heaven!!!


The nerve pain is now almost under controle thanks to the medication I take. I take one pill for the night together with another that soothes and calms my bladder and then in the morning I take two. Acceptable for me. It still is present a bit, but I can move around again without too much burden. I start to have a life again. Ok, I still avoid public areas to not catch a virus or something. I have always been very strict about that and I will continue to be for the next period until I’m done. I am like an old school principal and forbid anyone to come and visit me if they are feeling sick or have been in contact with any virus or bacteria. Nope, only healthy people can visit me. Not even if their kids are sick and they are not. I do not wanna die due to a stupid virus. I had to endure already enough for that. That would be completely ridiculous.

This chemo I experienced another event. I was a bit nervous wether or not I would get the chemo. I had chemo last week but before I did’t have chemo for four weeks. My blood was never good. I got a blood transfusion twice and one time extra thrombocytes. I guess my body needed a break after ten rounds of chemo. You rock, my little body!! But anyway I was very nervous for this week. I want some chemos because I wanna do the countdown. And yes my blood was good, even very good. Last week the doctor told me I had to do walks in the forest and that was exactly what I did Saturday last week. Maybe it really helped. So there I was yesterday for my chemo. I got my first bag, everything ok. Then I got my second bag and after about twenty minutes I started to get really warm. Even my head that was wearing the cooling cap to keep my hair was heating up like a sauna. First I figured it would go away so I waited a bit but the when I saw my hands turning completely red I thought it was time to call the nurse. I started feeling nauseous, dizzy and like I had to puke so I went to the toilet hoping not to fall. I came back from the toilet and there the nurse was. When I told her how I felt the doctor and other nurses were there in a split second. Apparently I had an allergic reaction to the chemo. That apparently can be really dangerous. Luckily it wasn’t too bad with me yet. But still, it gave me a bit of a scare. I had never felt my body doing something like that. Vanessa, my friend that was accompanying me that day also thought the same like me that it was just the chemo. Now I know when it isn’t the chemo!! It took my complete energy.


The consequence now is that I have to follow the allergic schedule which takes really longer then the days of chemo now. Then I am given the bag of chemo in very small amounts together with medication so I don’t have a reaction anymore. I don’t really mind. Thursday is chemo day anyway, whether it takes five hours or nine, I don’t mind. Another adjustment, as long as it kills the fucker inside of me like it has already done!! I just continu the therapy, I will follow the pace that my body gives me. Remember the ode to my body that I wrote.  I don’t mind being a bit tired or not being able to enjoy all the pleasures of life that I would usually do. I just follow the pace of my healing and I am ready for my second life! I believe! That is important. I believe I will get through this and I shall have a second life. I am ready you guys for my second life, are you? Hahahahaha

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