My personal army and strength

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The previous treatment I felt like I was fighting this alien alone. People were of course supporting me but still it felt like I was alone. But although it is an individual battle, this time I don’t feel alone. I first of all feel stronger in my head and mind. Now after three chemos I still feel rather ok physically although I started this with a physical delay because my body has already undergone treatment so my physical condition is not as good as the beginning of the first treatment. But still I don’t think about that. A lot is in the mind. If you fall into the trap of letting go, then you are gone. I won’t do that! But not only am I now strong in my head, this time I have literally and figuratively speaking a whole army around me. I have my friends and family in Belgium but also in Canada and other places in the world, and I have my work, my unit who is with me every step of the way.  Everybody stands by me. People are doing everything to support me, to send me energy, light and whatever I need to conquer this. It is amazing!!! I get cards and text messages from my colleagues and friends from my work. You have no idea how it feels for me! I feel big like Napoleon, fearsome like Dzjengis Kahn and dauntless like Shaka Zulu with their troops fighting. Saar adds: ambitious as Alexander the Grate, and with balls like Hannibal! Nele Tahon is on a warpath! 🙂

This thought, this strength, this power, this energy, I get, thanks to everyone that is supporting me. It does something strange in my mind. Knowing that everybody is around me, this is a war I shall win. I won’t be afraid just as long as you stand by me.

I am going to write down some of the messages that I get that give me strength (and I get a lot of them) so I can read them over and over again. And maybe they’ll help someone else also. It is just that the faith people have in me is overwhelming and touches me in the deepest of my heart. And I thank everyone for this with all my heart.

Here are some of the messages people send me and give me power:

  • Nele, Like an instructor said during the obstacle course at the armored Cavalry school to become a Tank Platoon commander 16 years ago: “You have to attack the obstacle!!!” And how you would fly over the obstacles as if it were nothing with the Finish table as your golden one! Just like 16 years ago I am in full admiration now for you about the way you tackle this obstacle. Keep on attacking those obstacles!!!
  • Think positive Nele, radiate vibes. I’m 100% convinced you will conquer also this mutation, brightly and shining and with a deep proud roar. And remember how strong a body is and how much it wants to live.
  • You’re a fucking superstar! Fight like you have never fought before, believe like you have never believed before and live like you have never lived before. I send you light and love!
  • Nele, Like when you told me: “I am a slow learner” Off course you needed a second session, always trying to be different he :-). Same thing though: going for the win! And a small chance is an even big chance. The bug needs more nuclear shit…Asshole. But Nele, really no doubt, whatever the doctors say, it is based on statistics not included your defense material, passion, survival, instinct, Julius. I believe blindly in you and your fantastic body. It is only a matter of time before you tumble over the finish line. Not if but when hunny. Give it your best shot, aim, destroy forever! With your beautiful power mind: GO!! Off course you can, you just need more time my beautiful slow learner.
  • You are a strong and courageous woman. I am sure that you will conquer this dirty cancer.
  • Happy to have seen you yesterday. If the dust around the bad news has settled down a bit and you got out of the intoxication of lasts week news, just know that there are many people ready to help you. If it gets too hard for the people that are helping you now (what is normal during such a long treatment) , we gladly wanna help out. Even if it is only to bring you to the hospital, cooking, vacuuming or doing grocery shopping. Don’t feel bad for asking for help or even distraction. You are one of the strongest soldiers I have seen in the last twenty years, although that realization came only later. You did not always have the support, but you have never let yourself got of track and followed your own path. Better do that now! The odds are maybe not in your favor, but just go and let us know how we can help. x
  • Hero: is an ordinary individual who finds strength  to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.
  • We are blasting you with white light with our meditation group. This cancer is gonna die, it is not part of you!
  • When cancer kicks you in the face. Calmly get back up, Smile and politely say: You hit like a bitch!
  • Nele thank you for sharing with us what you are going through. It reminds us again on how important it is to enjoy every moment in life, every day again. Know that your positivism during exercises and specifically in the unit gigantically improved the atmosphere. With all my heart I hope to see you again in the unit very soon but take your time to heal. Big hug!
  • Proud of how you are dealing with this my friend!
  • Military friendships are ordinary based on certain foundations
    • alcohol
    • a sarcastic and depraved ability to laugh at anything and everything
    • common experience of high adrenaline situations
    • a dislike of superficial people
    • the ability to meet again after years apart , having had no contact and carry on exactly where you left off
  • Dear Nele, Is it not a bit strange that serious fighters are matched with serious enemies? So many go this particular battle ill equipped. But not you. Your courage, your training and your love of life will shorten the odds. I am betting money you will annihilate this bastard. Go for it!
  • I remember being so struck with Nele’s enthusiasm and vitality. Her spirit is strong and very determined. May that spirit prevail and guide her complete return to wellbeing. I too sit daily, and will be thinking of her every morning before dawn. Nele remains radiant – in the photo – even after three months of chemo. That alone speaks to her strength, she is indeed your sister…
  • I will put her name on my altar and add her to my prayer list…she is in so many ways a warrior and your visit is just the ticket to make her feel better, sending love.
  • I meditate daily and she will be with me.
  • We are with you and won’t let you down.
  • I remember her well and we all loved her and her beautiful spirit. I will put her on the healing list at my centre. sending love and healing.
  • There is a lotta love going out there, Nele. We are happy to be in your army

 

Big kiss to everyone!!

Stand by me…

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