I wanna start today with a very important thing that happened in my mind. On Tuesday when I had to go for my chemo, for the first time in my life I was actually happy to be in the hospital. This was because I was in so much pain. But then I realized something. I was actually so reluctant to being part of that ‘club’ that I really didn’t want to be identified with it. As I make this journey to get rid of the alien, I realize that this ‘club’ is the best thing I can have now. All the doctors and nursing personnel are all there to help me. They will help me with the slightest thing there is. And I have experienced now how important it is to attack immediately. They are my allies to survive this thing. We are all on the same side. I have made the switch in my mind.
I have always been told that I learn hard. True, but this time it really thought me something. The only way of getting through this is being open to the help. And with UZ Leuven I have that. From the first moment on, you are seeing professional personnel specific for every topic. I saw the psychologist, I saw a pastor (who caught me on a real bad moment when I was really angry at everything, poor woman :-)), I saw the sexologist, the dietician and everybody that you can imagine are there to help you. There is even a small wellness centre especially for oncology patients. It is unbelievably well organized and gives very good support.
The thing is. There are so many things going on with your body, with your mind, with your emotions. And all these things you need to process in the same time. HEAVY! I realized it this week as I had the surprise of the stent.
The doctor resigned me on Thursday to go home and I was very happy of course. I came home, took a shower, peed and…… died of pain on my kidney, bladder, I have no clue but the pain took me down. You know what I did??? HAHAHA I called my mom to take me to the urgency of the hospital. I thought this is not right. I had no pain when the bladder catheter was in but when it was out it was hell. I figured that the stent had been moved while taken out the bladder catheter. The problem is that I have to drink about two liters every day to get the poison of the chemo out of my body. If I drink, I pee and pain is not amusing then. So not one hour later from being home I was back in the hospital. FIRST PRICE LESSONS LEARNED: NELE!!! This time I listed to the doctor. Like I said, the switch has been made. I’m in the game, and the game is not played only by me. This is the biggest and best team I have ever had. Family, friends, the hospital! This team rocks and makes me even stronger!
I got the answer that that excruciating pain is not abnormal. WTF??? These are things they don’t tell you :-). The doc said that I would feel some pressure or pain, but he never told me it would be like that. Seriously my level of pain has risen extremely thanks to this week. Anyway, I got painkillers for that and now the pain on my back while I pee is more or less bearable and goes away afterwards. This means that I can start moving normal again. Happy me. I now take anti nausea pills three days after chemo, antibiotics to prevent infections of the operation and the painkillers for my stent. I do feel that I have to let my body recuperate a bit because it went through a lot this week and I have to get it ready again for my third round of chemo on Tuesday. I promised it in my ODE TO MY BODY.
But the game’s on again and this time I got first price!!