Let me share with you guys, the best advice I ever got. Coming from a person very dear to me, who knows me and who knows what I need to hear. It might sound hard to some, but it is what I believe.
Be aware: not for sensible readers 🙂
“If you enter a fight (and in this case you have no choice), you only go for victory. There is no second place, no consolation price for participation, no compromise. You GO FOR VICTORY and fear, pain and doubt are not part of that. Those thoughts can never keep on hanging in your mind. This is ‘posture’ your attitude and perception that becomes reality. Head high and proud. Do not indulge yourself any more weakness, do not accept pity but put yourself above all misery! Have faith and believe in yourself! Radiate it and frighten the cancer!”
Everybody still here? 🙂
So on Friday I had been to a village party. Last year I went there too but this year the atmosphere was slightly different :-). The morning after I had a hangover, but not from alcohol. I had gotten some well good meant advice that completely smacked me in the head. Nele, what you have is serious. You need to be realistic. You are going to be sick and tired of the treatment. Seriously??? I don’t take it serious??? I could die!!
BUT: I can’t accept that sort of support. I know it is meant very well with a very warm heart. However, as a fellow warrior told me: “fight your war with your weapons.
That Saturday morning I felt kinda down, but I got a FaceTime call of a very dear friend of mine who immediately made me feel better. He is a fellow military warrior with the same soldier mind then I and he told me what I needed to hear. I got immediately in the combat mode! The same day in the afternoon I got the advice you read before.
So I would like to make some things clear to everyone. You all noticed through my previous posts that my mind is very combative. That of course has its reasons. As most of you know, I am a soldier. I have been a soldier for twenty years. Being in the army so long forms your character and the person you are. I always say that I am a product of my military education. Being in my current situation I can truly say that I couldn’t have a better mindset then the fighting one. It is obvious for me to fight. I have different weapons to fight any kind of war, including this one.
My dear friends, I can not thank everybody enough for all the support I get. It is unbelievable! There is only one thing that I can not stand and that is DRAMA. I hate drama, there is no place for drama and pity. It is exactly as my friend said in his advice. Sometimes I have the feeling that people want you to hang your head down. They tel me how bad it is and how serious my situation is. However they don’t realize they are dealing with me. I know that showing your sadness and empathy is a way of people to help me and support me. And I see and feel the love in it. I know it is probably not always easy to react on such things and everybody has its own way but please do not get me wrong, I appreciate it completely and love you all for helping me, each in your own way. I can put it in the right perspective and hold no grudge to no-one. However as I said I am a soldier. So yes maybe I’ll feel sick or tired of the treatment , or maybe not. I don’t know but I do not start with the idea that I will be sick and tired. This does not fit in my combat mind.
So my dear friends and everybody that wants to support me. Follow me in this war against the alien, but allow me to use my kind of weapons. No drama, no sadness. And please join me and support me with the same weapons I use. Together we will kill the motherfucker!! (excuse my language). And I can’t do this without you guys standing next to me on the frontline.
LOVE YOU ALL!!