Me encountering the surgeon assigned to place my port-a-cath:
The poor surgeon 🙂 I was never very eager to be operated but especially not locally. Whenever they wanna mess with my body in a surgical way, they better put me to sleep completely! Unfortunately this was not the case for this operation. It is considered a ‘small’ operation. Since I have discovered Xanax 🙂 I figured I could take that every time when I have stress. So I asked the nurse if I could get one. She didn’t bite man!! She said that it would be ok and I would be able to get through it. Since I am a brave scared person I of course did what I was told.
There I was sitting on a chair waiting again longer then foreseen to get the operation. I was very tired because I didn’t really sleep very well that night. I had moments that I was ready to go to the OR but then I almost fell asleep on my chair and I wasn’t ready anymore. I had to pee from the stress so much so I escaped the operation area to go to the toilet. And then of course there is Saar always ready to eternalize my most humiliating moments:
Yes this is the new Versace fashion 2018.
And then it was my turn. The surgeon was young but friendly. He wanted to put the thingy in my right shoulder but I kinda objected to that (see movie). I play squash and plan to play tennis this summer so I asked him to place it in my left shoulder since I am right handed. He checked my shoulder and agreed. Then they started to prepare everything. I thought I had to take of my shoes but noooo, it is just a small operation remember! Thirty minutes and it was fixed. Only he didn’t sedate my shoulder enough and I felt him cutting. “I kinda feel the cutting’ I told him. I explained what I felt and he decided he would put some more sedation in there. DAMN!! As if that wasn’t enough there was apparently a nerve next to the vein where they put the tube in that I felt like hell because it can not be sedated apparently. So what they actually do is place a sort of button/port underneath the skin at your shoulder and insert a tube into a vein that goes to your heart. This system allows easy acces to blood or getting medication such as chemo.
The line that you see on my neck is the one they use if they can’t get the PAC in good, otherwise it’s only one scar. But then again, one scar more on my body doesn’t make a difference anymore. Luckily it all went well. In the end it didn’t take that long of course, only half an hour of actual operation but it was not my most favorite moment. May that be clear 🙂 And I of course shocked the surgeon who told me at the end that I had said at least seven times the words shit and fuck. Of course I apologized for my dirty mouth but told him that it was only out of admiration for what he as a surgeon is able to do, as in: holy shit that tube goes all the way to my heart?? Fuck that is amazing what you can do doctor! Shit please doctor continue! 🙂 🙂 🙂
AND SO IT BEGINS 🙂